The Lion and the Serpent
by UberReader
Summary: For DarkAngelSnapeLover's Chapter Challenge. Enjoy a dramatic tale of love gone wrong for Severus Snape and a transcriptor working at Hogwarts. R
1. Chapter 1

_The Lion and the Serpent_

CHAPTER ONE

"You'll be working here, for now. The other offices are completely filled."

"But this is a storage closet."

"Well, you'll get used to it."

***

This is the story of my life. I have been forced to fulfill every dream I have from the confines of the world's box, and my first office job in the magical world was no exception. I was a transcriber, paid for by the state, and it would be my job to create files for every student at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Yet, here I was, conforming to a storage closet, cleared out of everything except four filing cabinets, a grey shelf made of rock, and a desk made from lowly wood. This is the story of my life, or rather when it began.

***

My first day began roughly. I had to fit my living quarters and my working space into a storage closet, and it was not going well. Three chairs had been brought into the room: one for my desk and two for a meeting area that would allow for me to meet with the house heads whenever I needed them, or a student for an interview. This is how I met the staff of Hogwarts.

Though my job was to create transcripts for students, Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of the school, wanted me to create files on the staff members during the summer. So, I began running down the list. I decided to go in reverse alphabetical order (which made it easier to file). Every staff member had a house (or they were assigned one), and they were to be filed in their designated filing cabinet on the bottom shelf. Little did I know, my systems would be in question.

An intern was the sixth person I interviewed. Name: Snape, Severus, and my sources told me of his…darkness, for lack of a better word. Sure enough, not only was he clad in black bleakness, he was cold and heartless, and he was very quick to point out that my system was inoperable.

"Explain this to me, how _my_ system is impossible for _me_ to work with?" I questioned. He nodded curtly, refusing to drink some of my freshly-brewed tea.

"Because you have no idea what in bloody hell you're doing. Care for more of an explanation? By the way, I refuse to answer your measly questions."

"Headmaster Dumbledore informed me that I was to interview everyone and create an extremely detailed file about everyone in this school. You, my dear friend, are considered a part of this school, correct? Skip the childhood, then. Where in bloody hell did you go to college?" I asked coldly. He spat in my tea, poured it into my trashcan, threw his cup onto the table (breaking it, the bastard!), and slung back his chair so fast the back came off of it. I drew my wand. "Is this how you treat everyone you encounter, you heartless bastard?" I spat, whispering despite my rage.

"No, only imbeciles," he replied in the same tone, drawing his wand.

"You wish to fight the system because the system has whomped your ass. Guess what, Snape? I don't give a damn. It is my job to figure you out and you will not leave this office until you answer the questions. Now, sit down and answer the questions before I get Dumbledore," I spat. He sat down, fixing the chair with his wand (though the damn thing still wobbles), and crossing his arms.

"I shall write my answers. Who knows who is listening through these walls?"

"No one. You're not in your office right now," I smirked. He scoffed and sunk down, feeling that I had the upper hand. And our interview continued, with me asking the questions and him speaking in hushed tones. I filled out my forms, placed them in a file, and stood angrily. "Now get out," I said sternly. He cocked his head to one side as if in thought.

"Interesting for you to say that. I was just leaving and going to Professor Dumbledore. It seems you have an attitude," he said calmly. I slammed a magical forced against the door, preventing him from opening it.

"Interesting for _you_ to say _that_. It was merely a misunderstanding between you and me, correct? Because speaking when you are not spoken to can result in fighting, correct? And speaking lies gets you fired, especially if I can prove that you were the one acting defiant with me."

"You have no proof," he smirked, scoffing a few times. I pointed above my head at a Muggle device called a tape recorder.

"I often miss facts, and you, Sir, have prevented a great challenge to the systems microphones, but, our argument will likely be on that tape. So, do you wish to bring Dumbledore into a situation that you will most certainly lose?" I asked. He scoffed and nodded. I removed my force from the door and he sprinted into the hallway. I slammed the door and sighed heavily, knowing that this would not be a simple task, living with this horrid man.

***

Dumbledore was never informed about our little strife in my office. I completed my staff files and began working on the students. Lucky for me, though not really, the Slytherin head of house contracted a very bad case of pneumonia. While he was on bed rest was when I got into the stack of Slytherin profiles in my tiny closet. In order to get my facts straight, I was forced to walk into the neighboring office, the office of Severus Snape.

"Professor Hallowed?" I called, knowing that he was not going to be there unless he had passed and his spirit roamed. Severus poked his head from behind a lamp. "Professor Snape. I am here to schedule meetings to begin forming by files on Slytherin students. Do you have your planner for me to view?" I asked calmly, acting as if I had forgotten his rudeness.

"I will have it for you shortly. Sit," he commanded in a dull, low whispered. I scoffed to myself and sat down. He went into a back part of the office (in my case it would be my living space, but I held this tidbit to myself). When he returned, he threw the planner into my lap. "Leave," he whispered shortly, returning to his work. I didn't argue, until I met Dumbledore at the door. I bowed my head slightly. He did the same.

"Severus, I need to talk to you. Madam Lillian, this concerns you also," Dumbledore whispered. I nodded and returned to my seat. Severus looked up from his work and placed his quill in its proper holding place. "Professor Hallowed will not be returning. His mistress filed the proper forms this morning. With no one to replace him on such short noticed, the responsibilities fall upon you, Severus. A meeting will be held tomorrow morning to inform the staff of the situation's sudden change. Madam Lillian, Severus will be the one you meet with to gather transcripts."

"Yes, Sir," I nodded, glancing to Snape. He refused to meet my eyes.

"I hope he will survive this, but I'm sure it is only a matter of time before his heart fails and he passes away. Well, enough said. I'll leave you two to your work. Good evening," he whispered. We nodded and watched him leave. Once the outside door was closed, I stood with a mission.

"Looks like you better start respecting the fact that I live and breathe, Severus Snape," I whispered sternly. He did not reply as I left the room, closing his office door heavily. I felt his gaze fall upon my neck.

***

Professor Hallowed died within the night. Severus was accepted as the new head of house, but complaints were hidden behind their eyes. I too was not happy with the situation, but…life and death occur simultaneously, and I cannot stop it, though the coldness of Severus Snape's heart could surely cause the later.

Snape and I met the class period after the meeting. He had already written his own transcripts, which I immediately lit on fire.

"Why the hell did you do that?" he spat angrily.

"Wrong format," I replied coldly. "Now, we begin again. If you wish to aid in my work, making my job easier, then you _will_ follow the proper format. Now, the name is here, along with birth date and house. Are you following me?" I asked. He scoffed and began writing. After giving him the example, he picked up his share of the work, but we were only a quarter of the way finished when he left. I returned to my other work, which was with the Hufflepuff house. While I wrote everything, the professor hit on me and asked me on a date four times. Rejection was clearly not something he understood, which made my job much, much harder.

At lunch, I remained in my office, transferring the information for Gryffindor students (I was merely handed files and told to return them by a certain date). After lunch, a soft knock sounded on my door. I did not look up, not feeling the need. The knock was louder and accompanied by cursing due to a fallen plate. Snape.

"Leave it," I said sternly.

"I have fifteen minutes for transcripts."

"Enter," I sighed, putting down my quill and making room for the tray on my desk. I began boiling tea as he set it down. "So, kindness or for pay?" I asked with a smirk.

"Force," he said sternly. "Besides, I was on my way by, anyhow. Do you want help?"

"Can I at least finish my tea?" I asked, applying greater heat to the kettle, which soon turned red. I poured water into one cup and began brewing my tea. When I was done (without asking him for his take on the matter), I began our duty. We finished a few more before he gave another outburst.

"We'll never finish at this rate! You go entirely too slow!" he spat.

"Then _you_ do the damn deed," I hissed. "I'm sorry that there are more students than I have brain cells, in your opinion! If you'd shut up for a mere second, then our pace would likely quicken! If you have a problem with helping me, then give me the damn files and _I'll_ write all of them!"

He was silent from this point forward, merely handing me his finished products for me to glance over. He never made a typo, and I was happy for his fifteen minutes worth of work. When he was done, he left the room without as much as a goodbye. Through the open door, I saw the remains of my side dish. I sighed and used my abilities to clean it up. As I did, a newspaper was delivered by a student. I paid for a subscription, and it was really like paying for my own tea break.

As I read, I sipped my tea and nibbled at a roll. Suddenly, I choked and threw down the paper. A passing student heard the massive coughing outburst and stormed through my door. I informed him that I was fine, then I returned to reviewing the source of my sudden inability to breathe.

An evil man was finally captured. He had murdered a close friend of mine and I watched it. This was my reason for being forced to conform to college: I had to deal with the fact that he was still out there, and that he knew I watched him kill my friend. Now, he had been captured.

The bell rang, and students passed by my open door, but they did not see the horror on my face. I sat like this for an entire class period until my daydreaming was broken by Snape. He sat down and watched. My eyes continuously scanned the same line: **CAPTURED!**

He cleared his throat and I dropped my tea glass on the floor and watched it shatter. A large shard landed on his shoe, but he didn't notice as I ran from the room, not wanting him to see my next reaction: tears. Then, the screaming began. It was a reaction that always occurred for whatever reason, and it overtook me too quickly for me to silence myself. No one noticed this, however, and I was soon just experiencing the last phase: uncontrollably shaking accompanied by paleness and sweating. This was the phase that I was in when Snape found me in front of the teacher's bathroom just up the hall.

"Are you all right?" he asked. I shook my head, a massive shiver vibrating my legs and causing my boots to click together. "You're a liar, Madam Lillian," he spat, sitting down beside me (was this kindness? What is he doing?).

"Gggggoooo….aaaawwwaaayyyy," I shivered. He shook his head and held the newspaper in front of me.

"It'll never last," he whispered. He then stood and left me there, shivering in the middle of the hallway. A few minutes later, a first-year escorted me with the help of a prefect to the hospital wing. They gave me a calming potion and told me to stay in bed for the rest of the day. Of course I couldn't follow their directions. I had to do double time to complete the remaining stack of transcripts. I was determined to finish Slytherin's so that I could move on to Ravenclaw's, so I knocked on Professor Snape's door at seven that evening. He answered and walked away with the door open.

"We have to finish these tonight, an order from Dumbledore," I half-lied. He just wanted them finished by the end of the week.

"Sit," Snape whispered. I nodded and put down my supplies. He gathered his and our work began. In absolute and total silence. Not a word was spoken for three hours, which was when we finally finished. Even then, we muttered 'good night' and 'thank you' then went our separate ways. No questions were asked and none were answered. I was right. He was a cold-hearted, poor excuse for a man, and his sudden 'sympathy' was obviously short lived. I remained in my room for the rest of the night, alone, thinking of the times when my past was happier and my future wasn't hidden in the shadows.

***

Dumbledore contacted me the next morning for a meeting about my progress. I informed him about the completed Slytherin transcripts and that the Ravenclaw head of house would be with me throughout the afternoon. After nodded slightly, he brought up something else.

"Professor Snape has informed me about your…outburst yesterday. You and I know of the cause, but…I want to ask about your well being, Lillian. Are you alright now?"

"Of course," I replied. "It was…a reaction that began the day after I witnessed the act."

"I understand. I hear that the courts may summon you. Do you need to take leave to testify?"

"I'll send a written statement, Sir, but a journey would not be necessary. I will keep you informed. Now, I have a meeting in a few minutes. May I be excused?"

"Of course," he smiled. "And Lillian?" he called. I turned around, looking into his calming eyes. "We are all here to help you, even Professor Snape. He needs more help than you do, I feel, but he will be there to give it if need be."

"Thank you for the piece of information, Sir," I whispered. I did not understand the 'more help' thing, but something inside me said that he was probably the reason why he needed help, not because the world sent him shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I turned out of Dumbledore's office to see Professor McGonagall. She did not look pleased and forcefully led me to my office, sat me down, and asked about the progress of my transcripts.

"You are not the only one I'm here to serve," I said sternly. I handed her two boxes of the files. "The rest could be done sooner with help that I will obviously not be receiving from you. Now, leave me to my work."

"You shouldn't be so short with me," she said arrogantly. I scoffed.

"Then why did you feel the need to lead me to my office?" I asked. She huffed out of the room without another word. A knock sounded as soon as she was done. "Yes?"

"A note from Professor Snape, Madam Lillian," a Slytherin prefect nodded to me. I nodded in return and accepted the note with its poor excuse for handwriting. He could meet with me during lunch to help, if I wanted it. The prefect was waiting, so I accepted his offer and set aside a few files for him to help me with. I then left my office to retrieve the Ravenclaw head of house. He was lugging the files, so I took a box and said I would return them when I was finished. After a few breathy 'thank yous,' he turned back up the stairs and continued with his perfect day. Mine, however, only got worse.

An explosion rocked the bowels of the dungeon shortly before ten and an evacuation ensued, sending me into an upstairs classroom to finish my work. Unfortunately, it was Professor McGonagall's and she angrily sent me back to my office, which was now outside because of the explosion. A breeze carried away six finished transcripts (but luckily no contents of a file), which sent me into the library, but a sudden attack from charmed books caused that area to be evacuated, sending me to the stairway leading to the dungeon. This is where Snape found me. He was covered in stray potion that he was cleaning, and I couldn't help but smirk.

"What is so funny?" he spat.

"Believe me, my day has been the same way, though I have nothing to show for it. Would you like me to help you clean your robes?" I asked. He scoffed, but he didn't walk away. I used a special charm for the deed, and he thanked me.

"You can use your office again," he whispered before leaving. Without waiting, he left for Dumbledore's office. I went into my office, and after twenty minutes, I could begin my work again (a shelf collapsed apparently in some sort of aftershock, sending binders everywhere, along with two bottles of ink). Before I could begin, however, Snape walked in with my lunch.

"You don't have to help. I'm currently too busy to work on anything you could help me with," I whispered. He sat down anyhow and looked at my work.

"It's the exact same," he whispered. I nodded and looked to my filing cabinets.

"Each is filled with the same type of files, but there is no easier way. Using magic would leave me with nothing to do, so…here I am."

"I can still help."

"I'm fine, thank you," I said sterner than I wanted to. He looked around the room. My living area was covered in dust thanks to the explosion, and my belongings were strewn on the floor.

"You have no room in here," he said quietly, standing.

"That is my living area and I'd appreciate it if you'd go no further," I said sternly without looking from my current file.

"Sorry, sorry," he whispered, sitting down. My cups then caught his eye. "You have very few belongings. You must live somewhere off campus."

"No, just here," I replied, looking back and forth between the newly written transcript and the student's file. "What is Quidditch?" I asked.

"What?"

"I'm not from around here. What is Quidditch?" I asked again.

"A common game," he replied. "You mean to tell me that you have no idea what some of these things are?"

"I'm an American witch, not a British or a Scottish witch," I said sternly. "My wand abilities are merely a fluke. Most of us cannot use a wand. It'll explode in our palm if we try. My first one did that, but the guy put another into my hand. He said it was calling me, but I didn't want to try. He forced it into my hand and wind howled from all around us. Sure enough, I could use it, but mostly it's for show, particularly here. It was a job requirement, really," I explained, never looking up. I felt him nod.

"So, you have wand abilities and natural abilities?"

"Yes," I replied. He nodded and looked to my tray of food.

"Are you going to eat?"

"Not at the moment," I whispered. I finished a transcript and used a spell to levitate it into its proper spot. I then looked up to Severus, who watched me use the wand carefully. "What did Dumbledore ask of you?"

"Nothing, nothing," he replied quickly.

"You're lying. What did he say?"

"You needed my assistance, that no one respected you…"

"Oh, those were just strange cases of…misunderstandings and such. You're the one around here with no respect, not me."

"He told you this?"

"I assumed. You aren't the most normal character in the bunch, as I'm sure you're aware."

"Same to you," he scoffed mockingly.

"It's the truth," I said sternly. "Dumbledore must look out for people like us. I don't know why, but…it's not my business. I'll take what little I can get from this world, and I'll go a long way with it. I'm just happy for the chance."

"You sound as if the world gives you nothing."

"Look around! This is what I have, what little you see!" I exclaimed. "Those cups aren't even mine, that hot plate, _nothing_ is mine! The shoes I wear are borrowed from a friend, the regular clothing I have is from a dead woman north of London. I have never owned one thing worth more than a dollar or a pound. NOTHING!" I exclaimed loudly.

"Then how are you here?"

"Government," I replied. He nodded as a knock sounded. We had missed the bell and Snape's class was going haywire. I listened intently as he instantly calmed them to silence. How could such a strange character have so much power over everyone else? I had no time to answer this. The world was calling again.

Another paper revealed my fate: I would have to testify against my friend's murderer, and it would be within the next month. I contacted Dumbledore before dinner, and he granted me permission to go as I needed to. Transcripts were less important than justice in both of our minds, but I had an unforeseen ally.

That night, I had the dream again. I relived the events, and I woke up screaming, as always. I was soon shaking, which was compounded infinitely by my door suddenly opening by none other than Severus Snape, dressed in his night garments. I was too terrified to speak. My look of terror made him stay back as I trembled so violently my blanket fell from my shoulders.

"Are you alright?" he asked. I did not answer. I'm sure that he could determine it without me forcing the words from my mouth. "Did someone attack you?" he asked. I forced my head to answer. 'No.' "What happened?"

I could not tell him. I sat there, panic in my eyes, and said nothing. I waited on him to do something, anything, but he eventually left the room, leaving the lit candle sitting on a side table that was broken.

Eventually the shaking broke, and the sweating, and I forced myself to drink a cup of tea. There would be no more sleep tonight, even if I tried to force it. So, I continued my transcripts. I wrote ten when a sudden noise outside scared me into flinching and making a large, half-empty bottle of ink to hit the floor, shattering it. But I stopped it from spreading across the floor by freezing it in place. It was a power I rarely used, but the moment was right, or so I thought. I cleaned up the mess and threw away the shards. As I sat down again, Severus entered again, wearing his daily clothes.

"What happened?"

"An accident," I whispered. "I am capable."

"How long have you been awake?"

"You saw me last," I replied. "Since then."

"Can you answer what happened then to me?" he asked. I sat down completely and pulled the newspapers from my desk and laid them beside him.

"There are your answers," I whispered. "Any more questions?"

"Not at the moment," he said quietly, looking over the headlines. A look of recognition flew across his eyes numerous times. I knew that the killer was famous, but how famous I didn't know.

"How did you know him?" I asked suddenly. He looked up, fear in his eyes. "I know recognition when I see it. How did you know him?" I repeated. He shook his head, refusing to answer. "Snape, don't play that game with me. It's a two-way street, not some messed up therapy session. Who was he to you?"

"I knew him when I went to school here," he whispered quickly. "He helped lead me into dark magic, into the world of murder. You watched his work? I lived it. He's powerful, and you must stop him."

"How could I stop someone so evil?" I asked.

"If you don't stop him, history will be rewritten from this point forward."

"How?"

"I do not know!" he hissed. "It just will!"

"I have work to do," I whispered after a moment. I ignored him, and sure enough he went to breakfast within a few minutes. I finished several transcripts before another knock sounded at my door. Dumbledore was paying me a visit.

"Another episode in the night, I hear? Will you be alright?"

"It will continue for a lifetime, Professor. I must learn to deal with it. Did I wake anyone but Professor Snape?"

"No, no, not with the thickness of these walls," he smirked. "Snape knows why now, doesn't he?" he asked. I nodded. "Well…I believe he's given you advice on how to go about your testimony?"

"It was more of a threat than guidance."

"Oh? Snape threatened you?"

"He said that if I didn't stop him, then history would be rewritten. I don't understand. The killer was cold-hearted, pure evil, but how could he get any worse?"

"Snape understands more than he lets on, and that it what you must remember when he tells you such information. He lived with this man, he served him. He knows more than your role as a victim could provide. Snape is…right about the changes to history that this would give him. If this man lives through these charges or is allowed to escape, then our world will be threatened. He preys on those who are of a mixed blood line, those who flaunt this. Tomorrow he will prey on the remaining parts of the world. He will not rest until magical blood is pure and indestructible," Dumbledore whispered. I nodded as the clocks sounded outside.

"I'll need help," I whispered.

"We will provide it, but…trust in Severus. He knows the enemy more than anyone. I feel that is why he is here, to help Good in any way possible. He has always held love for society, though it threw him from its reaches long ago. He is a tortured soul, Lillian, and until he receives the proper respect from the world, he will have to gain respect from the wrong characters. Help him."

Dumbledore left on that note, leaving me to look over the remaining Gryffindor files. Professor McGonagall barged into the room at noon to retrieve the files I had kept. I still needed to keep a few, which angered her. I said nothing and locked my door with my abilities as soon as she left. I then let myself fall into the rhythm of the work. Soon, a stack of finished transcripts lay on either side of me, and a knock was sounding at my door. I decided to keep going with my work, but the knock continued. I realized soon enough that it was a professor here for a meeting. I opened the door.

"Please sit, Professor. Sorry, but I've been very busy. Let me file these and I'll be with you in a moment," I smiled, but he did not. He sat down angrily and stared at the wall while I filed the finished transcripts. When I was finished, he merely handed me the files he brought and told me how to present them. I stopped him immediately. "The format is provided by Professor Dumbledore. If you wish to change it, do so on your own time. Now, goodbye," I said sternly. He scoffed in my face and left the office. I shook my head and put the files under my desk.

My work never seemed to stop. I finished my last file that night and made sure they were all still in their proper place. I attended dinner and enjoyed a nice bowl of hot soup, then I went to a meeting like Dumbledore asked.

"I hired you for the full year, so I have another job for you. The library wants to do a database for their books and things for the students. Most of it is done already, except for the Restricted Section and a storage room of books that were never filed. But that is not the only job I had in mind," he explained. He wanted me to do transcripts for previous students as well as current ones. I nodded, but sighed as I sat down in my office. I would be given access to the storage rooms containing old student records AND the storage closet filled with the books I would have to create transcripts for. My work was never-ending, and other jobs began finding their way to me. I was about to be an official witness, and I would have to take off the next month from Hogwarts, but would I even be able to return? The events I would have to reveal to the courtroom could stress me back into a state-run hospital, or the man's allies could come after me in my time away. But I could say nothing about it, nothing at all. I had to conform to the world again, and this time it wouldn't be pretty.

******


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

"I cannot grant you that wish. The journey is for you and you alone."

"But what if he tries to kill me?"

"I apologize. I'll arrange for the funeral. Do you have any family for me to contact?"

These were the words of Professor McGonagall who was put in charge of the leave time I would require. My wishes would not go to Dumbledore, and I made sure I left contacts available. If Professor McGonagall was going to ignore my beliefs, then I would have to leave Professor Snape or Headmaster Dumbledore with some sort of map into my path. This would be my last bit of work before my departure.

***

Transcript requests lay in an 'in' box I created. Dumbledore would keep it while I was gone, and I would leave the ones I had now in the box before I left. Currently, I was writing a journal about my life up to this moment, or how my life came to be what it is today. I began with my childhood, or a brief, undetailed description of it. I wanted whoever read it to see that I once was a normal child, happy within all rights and without a care in the world. But, I had to begin documenting my hardships sooner or later. It began quicker than I expected.

_**For college, I chose a magic academy that was willing to accept my normal schooling as "experience". They would have to test my skills, but they quickly learned how valuable I was. The school's happiness was short-lived, however. An evil force was building in their sister school, and wizards from England began appearing shortly after the beginning of the first term. They told tales of evil and how a dark force was beginning his reign. I met a girl who was fascinated with the events.**_

_**Amelia Ernest was my roommate, and she told me everything about the dark force. She was keeping a journal detailing the man's fiercest battles and accomplishments, and a list of the dead. He had killed hundreds by the time she filled up the journal, and when I began helping her keep up with the information, she was beginning her third journal. Apparently his antics had lasted a lifetime, which was something I could not understand.**_

_**"You need to learn of him first-hand," Amelia offered. I begged her not to take me anywhere near him, but curiosity lured me across The Atlantic and into the areas surrounding London; into the areas where He would be waiting for new victims.**_

_**After hearing first-hand accounts from her old friends, she led me into a hotel for the night. He was said to be in the area, but I didn't know that until days later. That night, he killed again, this time in front of me. Amelia was his victim, an admirer of sorts, and I watched every move.**_

I stopped there, knowing what would happen next. The memory returned full force, and the screams filled my lungs. I felt my body sag as the screams let go of me and the shaking began, more violent than before. I sat there, covered in sweat, shaking until pains began, first in my spine and then flowing down my appendages. This was a worse episode than the others. I was stuck this way, even after Snape walked in and saw that it had happened again. He also saw the open journal. He knew that it had caused it.

"You should save it for the stand," he whispered. I could not answer; the shakes were affecting my ability to speak. "When do you leave? Tomorrow?" he asked. I still could not answer. He noticed. "You're not all right," he said quietly, walking towards me. I couldn't stop him as he touched my forehead. "You're freezing," he hissed, grabbing my blanket from my bed and wrapping me with it. My shaking made it fall again. He sighed heavily and left the room. He returned with a calming potion and forced it into my mouth. I swallowed and felt the shaking move directly into my core.

"It…will notttt…last for long," I whispered shakily. He nodded in agreement and saw the open journal.

"Why did you write about yourself? What are you afraid of?"

"Dddd…death," I stuttered. He gave me a stern glance. "No…pro-pro-protection."

"McGonagall turned down a guard?" he asked. I nodded forcefully. He sighed and sat down. "I'll talk to Dumbledore."

"No. He will…no-no-not listen," I said sternly.

"He'll listen to me," Snape whispered, leaving the room. I remained in my seat and listened to his footsteps fade up the stairs. I looked to my clock. It was lunch time, and Dumbledore would probably be in an important meeting. I didn't want Snape to interrupt him, but when the two appeared a few minutes later, Dumbledore's expression made it clear that it didn't matter.

"All from remembering?" Dumbledore asked. Snape and I nodded. Dumbledore sighed. "I do not want to remove anyone from their classrooms, but…I cannot let this happen to you in a court room and have no one there to protect you from that man. Professor Snape, start developing lesson plans for a substitute. You're the only one who can accompany her."

"Sir, they know who I am, who I work for," Snape whispered. A shiver knocked off my blanket again, but I was strong enough to fix it.

"He has a point," Dumbledore whispered to my shadow.

"What about that new groundskeeper? He will not question anything. He talks too much," Snape offered. Dumbledore's eyes lit up and nodded.

"Do you remember Hagrid, Lillian?" Dumbledore asked. I nodded carefully. "He'll accompany you. They'll never bother him, and hopefully you will remain strong and be able to defend yourself. I'll inform Hagrid and arrange everything. Will you be all right, Madam?"

"Ye—yes," I stammered. He nodded and Snape escorted him from the room. A few minutes later, Snape returned. I had since moved to my bed.

"Why were you writing the journal?" he asked suddenly.

"I told you," I replied quietly.

"There is more reason than Death," he said sternly. "Why?"

I could not answer him. If I wanted them to know, I would have told them, but I told Dumbledore, knowing my secrets would be safe. Writing them down was maybe…a clarification process to help me remember my fears, or to preserve the information.

"I don't know," I said quietly, remembering him standing there.

"I'd hide it well during your visit."

"Will you keep it for me?" I asked.

"The students constantly break into my office. They'll surely find it."

"Then keep it in your personal quarters. No one is allowed in there, correct?" I asked. He nodded and closed the notebook.

"Are you sure it is complete?"

"The rest will be in the papers, and everything after that you also know. The state sent me into the school system for protection, and they chose here because of my background with magic. That's all."

"Fine then," he whispered, walking away. I lay down in my bed and looked out into the hallway. Students walked by occasionally, but I was really listening to the pops from potions coming from next door. Potions had always fascinated me, but I had never been given the chance to explore them. I hoped that I lived long enough to do so.

***

The journey lasted several hours. Hagrid talked the entire time, but I easily ignored him. I then followed a guard into the courts to register. The council was hearing another case, and Hagrid told me that seeing another one would help me know what to expect, so we had lunch with the other attendants and entered the courts to watch.

The council was larger than I expected by a few men. The judging party was also larger than I expected, and judging by the outside building's appearance, it would be much larger than this.

The case being presented before us was a land dispute complicated by magical pranks. The decision of the ruling council was easily made, and the case was over before it began, sending us into the streets. We visited our hotel, which served us dinner, then we contemplated exploring the streets, but, remembering Dumbledore's words, I remained inside.

Before we departed, he handed me a small note. He asked me to be myself and to make sure that I let my feelings come. I'd hate to have an episode in court, but having the judging party to see it would impact them greatly, and it would perhaps strengthen my case. He also asked that we do nothing to jeopardize our lives, such as exploring the surrounding area or shopping after dinner. Hagrid and I agreed that leaving should be mandatory, not voluntary.

***

After a restless night, we awakened at seven for a quick breakfast before entering the court. Sure enough, it was much larger than expected, and I was quickly overwhelmed. I was seated in a special section and Hagrid was allowed to join me. Then, some bells rang and the councils entered. They asked for the defendant to enter the room, and I immediately looked to the floor. Seeing him made my blood boil. Feeling his eyes upon me made my pulse race. I felt pure hate for this man.

"On this morning, we have witness testimonies on behalf of the prosecution. Would you please call your first witness?" the leader asked. A short man with a monocle stood. He walked towards the front of the room and cleared his throat loudly.

"I now call Madam Lillian Kingsley," he said. I felt myself grow numb, but I stood and was led to the stand by a guard. I was immediately put under oath and sat down. "You witnessed the murder of Amelia Ernest, correct?"

"Yes."

"Can you recite the date?"

"December 15, 1985," I said quickly.

"You witnessed the entire murder?"

"Yes."

"Could you describe the event to the court?" he asked. I felt myself freeze. My eyes were fixed on the mahogany banister in front of me. I found the dark lines in the wood comforting, until he put his hand there. "Are you all right to continue, Madam Kingsley?"

I nodded and sighed. I then began my testimony.

"Amelia and I had gone shopping the day before. We ate dinner at a restaurant just below us. We'd been looking over the area, and she told me about His men while we ate. She pointed out a few of them after we left. I told her I didn't feel comfortable, and she thought that maybe we were both coming down with something because we were both very, very tired. We returned to the hotel after renting a Muggle's movie. We sat down to watch it when He barged into our room."

"How many men were with him?"

"Three, all were masked, even Him, but he took off the mask after they held her down. I was…hiding behind a piece of furniture, something formal, I don't know. Anyhow, He asked her questions and she said yes to all of them, but I didn't understand a word. He then threw her knapsack's contents onto the floor and picked up her journals with information about Him. He asked her why she was so concerned with Him, and she said that He was a fascinating character. He seemed pleased with this and pranced around the room."

"So the event lasted a long time?"

"Well over an hour, I'd guess. I blacked out as soon as it happened and they left."

"Continue with where you were, after he began prancing."

"He asked her to recite different dates of the…killings Him and His followers participated in. He asked her some cocky questions after a while, all concerning the day itself, and about our day, then she looked scared. He was hiding something in his hand. It was a wand. He held it to her throat and asked her more questions even faster, and she began to cry and shake her head, then…He cursed her! He caused her head to rip from her body and land on the coffee table in front of me, her eyes still moving! He made her body do strange things until He finally ripped out her heart and sent it flying into the little kitchen area of the hotel," I sobbed, talking louder and louder until I finally began the screaming that always began. Hagrid and another guard led me from the room, murmurs all around me. His eyes were on my neck as they carried me away.

***

When I awakened, I was in a dark hotel room with Dumbledore and Snape watching me carefully. A note in Hagrid's horrible scrawl sat on the table beside me alone with a large bottle of potion that was half empty. I felt my insides quiver and I knew that the shaking was still there. Dumbledore noticed me first.

"Lillian," he whispered to Snape, who looked up from a black, leather-bound book with a hand-stamped title in gold leaf on the spine. The lights were raised by Dumbledore before he rose and stood beside me. "The courts have granted you leave. You will not be called upon again unless they absolutely need you. Later, when you're ready, we'll need to finish the account."

"How far did I get?" I whispered. Dumbledore shook his head, and I watched Snape's lips close again and reform his constant frown.

"I will not tell you. Your throat was injured from the screaming. You appeared very ill when we first arrived. Hagrid could not handle the episode, and he contacted us immediately. We are a few towns over, so do not worry about them discovering you. Besides, your testimony will likely put him to death," Dumbledore explained softly.

"I want to watch him die," I whispered sternly. He nodded.

"I can arrange it when the time comes, if the time comes. If you are willing, you can return to the courtroom if they need you again."

"I'll decide," I sighed, sinking into the soft pillow.

"We'll let you rest, Lillian, but…just sleep now. I'll explain the rest tomorrow."

I remembered no more. I drifted into a deep sleep, the kind where you are surrounded by darkness. Though it had no form, in the dream I swore that I felt His eyes upon me.

******


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

"Everything she saw was a lie!"

"But we must belief every word of it! He is dangerous, though we only have the bodies to prove it."

"He must be stopped, we agree, and she is our way to do so."

***

I awakened alone with Snape sitting in Dumbledore's chair. The original book had become another with a red binding but black covers. I couldn't read the letters, but I wasn't given a chance. Snape jumped up, wand drawn, scaring the life out of me.

"Sorry," he mumbled, sitting back down. "Nerves."

"Over what? What happened?" I asked, shooting up in my bed and staring at his eyes. They changed from scared to defensive quickly. "Dumbledore asked you not to tell me?"

"Yes," he whispered, sitting back in his chair and hiding his wand in his sleeve. "He'll tell you what he knows when he returns. He just left a few minutes before you woke up."

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, knowing it had been a while.

"Two full days, counting from the moment I arrived, but Hagrid was with you longer. The court's doctor gave you a sedative before you left from there, and we're…an hour from the courts? We might move again when Dumbledore returns. Are you hungry?"

"I'd love to know what's going on," I whispered. He nodded.

"If it helps, I only know what little _The Prophet_ told me. It's a bunch of lies now days, but…Dumbledore wants to make sure that the paper was lying."

"What did it say?" I asked, but he didn't answer. He shook his head and stood, walking to a cupboard and pulling out a loaf of bread and a knife. He sliced it and used his wand to heat them. He put some on a cloth napkin and handed them to me. I thanked him and watched as he did the same careful process for himself.

"The school is being carefully watched. McGonagall is in charge, and they've used an intern from out of the area to maintain order. Substituting our positions with people inside the school would be impossible. The students are preparing for midterms, so…it is rather chaotic at the castle," Snape whispered. I finished my final slice and tried to levitate another towards me, but I could only lift it a centimeter.

"Why are my powers so weak?" I asked. He shrugged and looked to the street through the window. Cars were being very loud outside, letting me know that it was either morning, midday, or evening rush hour, or else we were along a very busy freeway.

"The sedatives were very strong, particularly the first one. You were hurling blood from your mouth, from what Hagrid told us vulgarly before we saw you. We used an even stronger healing potion since the sores had harmed your breathing, but otherwise the sedatives did the work."

"Thanks then," I whispered, watching him give me the rest of the loaf and taking all but one piece to me. I thanked him and began eating the piece I tried to pick up before. "So, you'll have to make a midterm while you're here with me and grade it when we return?"

"No. Professor Hallowed did the work for me, so now I only have to use his special key. I'm catching up on some personal reading," he smirked, pointing to a stack of books on the floor. "I've read each one of those, and I might purchase more while we're here, unless…well, never mind."

"He escaped, didn't he?" I asked. He waited before answered.

"Yes. How did you know?"

"My mind's eye never lies to me. He kept watching me in my sleep; I felt him following my faded movements. I knew," I replied. He sighed.

"According to _The Prophet_, he overpowered guards outside the compounds, meaning that he escaped unbound until then. Dumbledore is speaking with the council now. If they can't find him, then…we'll have to hide you completely somewhere. Even Hogwarts may not be safe anymore."

"You were to wait for me, Severus," Dumbledore said sternly, appearing in the doorway. Severus unlocked the door and let him inside. Dumbledore immediately sat down.

"So, what all of what he said is true?"

"I only caught the final words, Madam Lillian, but…here is what I learned in my meeting with The Council. He escaped from his cell before the final count, which would be just before sunset. Guards around the perimeter of the prison heard him as he tried to climb the fence. They were brutally attacked, much in the same way as many of his victims. He then left the compound, fleeing into the night. Rewards have reached…unthinkable values since then. Also, danger has risen. This morning, a young woman found seven men in a tavern brutally hanged inside. The tavern's owner was hanged from a tree outside. His wife saw him as soon as she awakened. The area was just south of Hogwarts. The school has been cut off from the outside world and no one is allowed to go inside of the school or leave the school for any reason. The students will be fine, but it is you that I am worried about.

"Inside his cell, a long letter was left mentioning his plans. He signed it with his new name, Voldemort. Severus and I know him well, and he began using the name shortly after leaving Hogwarts, but it was a name in the underground. Now, it is unspeakable. Council refused to use his name, and many citizens are not using his name in a respect for the dead, yet by calling him 'he-who-must-not-be-name' we are glorifying him. The world is upside down, Madam Lillian, and you are very much in danger. Your name was among those listed as his 'next in line'. We will do everything we can to protect you, but you must obey every order we make. He is a very dangerous man."

"I understand, Sir," I whispered, looking to the window. Bells tolled outside, but they sounded different, more ominous. It felt like He was watching me. I began screaming again.

******


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

"Do you think she knows what happened?"

"We must ask her and see what she knows."

"But she was unconscious."

"But she has a mind…"

***

I awakened to see castle walls. I looked around and realized that I was inside the Hogwarts Hospital Wing. I saw the nurse walked around, but she soon realized that I was awake and ran outside. She turned towards Dumbledore's office.

The previous days' events were a blur, and I was confused about many things, including if the dreams were a reality or just mirages taken from events going on around me. I knew that my last dream sent me deeper, and I felt myself slipping, but I held on somehow and managed to stay among the living. What brought me to that point was unclear, but the dream before was so vivid. I was in danger, I knew, so seeing Dumbledore walking towards my bed was a welcomed relief.

"Madam Lillian, it is good to have you here with us. How are you?"

"Confused," I replied, which was the truth. He nodded with a smirk and began explaining what had happened. The traveling was skewed in my dreams, but I stopped him when he began entering the parts I knew. "He escaped. I know of this already, but I thank you for offering to tell me in person rather than letting my mind's eye do all of the work."

"I did not know it would be so strong," he gasped. I nodded.

"It is strange to me also. Professor, what will become of Hogwarts?"

"We will continue to function as normal. You will begin your work once you are able to, and life will continue without a problem to hear of. We cannot let Voldemort stop us," he said quietly. A gasp came from the passing nurse.

"His name is not to be spoken," I whispered.

"But I do not fear him, so I will speak it without fear."

"I will not use His name. Ever. He does not deserve such respect from me," I hissed. Dumbledore nodded.

"You have every right, Madam Lillian. Now, if you'll excuse me. Professor McGonagall does not like to be kept waiting."

"Professor?"

"Yes, Madam Lillian?"

"Severus read many books while we were on leave, didn't he?"

"He never left the castle," Dumbledore replied. I nodded and watched him leave. My visions were definitely hallucinations. I should have known from the sympathy he showed me….

***

I quickly began work from my hospital bed. Professor McGonagall demanded that I begin immediately. I huffed to her back as she walked away, catching my tongue as it tried to do its childish exit. Professor Snape delivered a box of files from the previous seven years of students from each house, and I used up an entire bed organizing the different piles of completed transcripts and completed files. By mid-evening I had finished three years' worth of students in two different houses and two in the other. I went to bed after a small dinner of thick soup, but I was subjected to more horror in my dreams, sending me back to the transcripts shortly after midnight. This was when I was asked to leave the wing, and I did, carefully transferring everything to my office, which was covered with memos and questions from professors. I sighed and went into the potions' classroom. A balcony sat above everything with a large table covered with an obvious coating of dust. With one charm, it was gone, and I carefully transported the files here. Midway through, Professor Snape appeared in his nighttime garb.

"I thought you were stealing cauldrons," he mumbled, turning away.

"Do you mind?"

"We both have jobs to do, Madam," he replied, continuing to walk away.

"How often do you read, Professor?" I asked. He stopped and turned around.

"I am too busy to read most of the time. Why do you ask?"

"Have you read a black book with gold lettering and a black-covered book with a red spine lately?" I asked matter-of-factly. I watched his eyes become lighter, though still dark and black. "Is that too much to ask?"

"How do you know of these titles?"

"Oh, I don't know the title, just the description of the book's covers. I take that you have?"

"Yes," he whispered. I nodded.

"I knew I was right, I just had to be sure," I smirked.

"_Typical woman_," he thought before he left. I saw his eyes twitch with the thought, and I knew that was what he was thinking. I smirked and sat down with my ink, quill, and paper for the transcripts. I then began again. Before morning, I had caught up everything. After a quick breakfast of tea, I began again, not stopping until Snape forced lunch under my nose and watched me eat it. As soon as I was finished, I forced the plate away and began again. By dinner, I had just finished the transcripts for the fifth-years. I sighed and walked to dinner, using a charm to make the papers immobile should someone try to mess with them.

At dinner, the mood was somber and I knew why. The mother of a student was brutally murdered by Him, and word traveled quickly. The Ministry of Magic's councilmen would hold a meeting with parents later in the week to discuss the matter of safety within the Hogwarts' area. I knew that, because of Dumbledore's specific orders, I would not attend, but he would be there, and so would He. He would want to know his enemies, so I knew that He would disguise himself. I told this assumption to Dumbledore before returning to the potions' room.

"Madam Lillian, your mind's eye remembered events that occurred around you, but I believe in paranoia taking over the predictions of the world's greatest psychics. You may be one of them, and yes, I knew myself that Voldemort would want to attend the meeting. I want to go to see if He is in fact there. Now, return to your work. Snape informed me that you were working around the clock. If the dreams are keeping you from rest, ask him for a potion."

"Thank you, Sir, but I will likely pass," I nodded. He sighed and walked away. I returned to the potions' room to see two students sweeping below. They were serving detention while Snape sat in his office reading papers from the previous test. I smirked as I began to sit at my table, except the table itself was gone. "PROFESSOR SNAPE!" I exclaimed. He ran into the classroom and saw what had scared me. A hole in a nearby window, just the size of the table, was filled with stray papers, an obvious attack. Dumbledore was quickly contacted and students were questioned, some with special potions, but none took the prank to be their own. A paper fluttering in my chair told me everything: He had done this.

******


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

"But He was here, in this school!"

"But he's gone now."

"How did He get inside here in the first place?"

---no reply—

***

After a search revealed no one hidden among the school, students were allowed to return to their rooms, but I was not satisfied. I remained in the Great Hall along with a few of the assistants and interns. All of us were petrified, but none of us had any answers.

Around two in the morning, Professor Snape appeared and unkindly forced the interns back to their rooms. He then personally escorted me into the dungeon and led me into his office, where a cot was arranged.

"You can sleep here," he whispered sternly, going into his personal space and closing the door before I could ask 'Dumbledore's orders?' I immediately lay down on the cot, but sleep would not come. I feared it never would as the clock tolled two. I sighed and blew out one of the candles near me. Light still poured in from the classroom, and from Snape's personal living space. I sighed again and looked to the ceiling.

Somewhere between mindless thoughts and Snape entering the office to begin his day, I fell asleep, dreaming that I was wondering around Diagon Alley with Him following me. I felt like He was with me the entire time, and the feeling stuck with me throughout the day. Around noon a meeting began concerning the "attack". Better security was in place, but we were still warned to be on alert at all times. Dumbledore asked Snape and I to stay behind in his office for more "insight into the situation," and he informed us that another murder occurred a kilometer away in a small farm house. It was a Muggle with magical ties; his mother's best friend was a Gryffindor witch from six years ago. On hearing the name, I remembered and nodded.

"She was caught delving into dark magic in the unused ladies' room, and she was expelled for her antics. She wouldn't join Him though. She wanted to leave it behind, but He wouldn't allow it," I whispered without a thought. Dumbledore nodded. He was the one who added the file into her transcript.

"Voldemort killed her for revenge, or to torment her other friends. As you may remember, she was not alone in her practices. I feel that many of her friends became one of His followers, a Death Eater as they are called," Dumbledore nodded, sitting down.

"Death-causer," I sighed. Dumbledore nodded in agreement as our meeting ended. It was time for lunch, and I welcomed it. I then returned to the potions' room with Snape and returned to my work. He never left the room without telling "the class," but I felt his words were directed to me. At dinner, he demanded that I go with him, and I used the excuse of a dwindling stack to go.

After dinner, a late delivery arrived for _The Daily Prophet_. Articles concerning the recent murder covered the page, along with a "witness account." I read with scrutiny; every detail was either an exaggeration or an understatement, and I threw away the paper without reading the other articles, burning it in a trash bin beside me. Snape arrived later on with his own copy.

"Where's yours?" he asked.

"Your apple is among it now," I smirked. He looked into the bin where he had just thrown an apple core. He shook his head slightly and lay the paper on a clear portion of the table.

"There was more than a description. Did you read the article on the efforts made to capture him in the night? Hogsmede has enlisted the help of Faeries."

"They are powerful, yet not strong enough to take down Him," I whispered. Snape nodded in agreement.

"They are going to being doing rituals to hinder him tonight with the full moon."

"Again, they will not be strong enough," I sighed.

"You are not optimistic that someone will bring him down?" he asked. I looked to him out of the corner of my eye, but continued to write the latest transcript. "What about the other efforts that we know of but were not mentioned? There are spies for our side within His ranks. They will surely bring Him down," Snape smirked. I shook my head. "Why not?"

"Because no matter how well they play the part, they will never fully convince Him. You are much more believable," I nodded, flipping over the page. I felt his demeanor change and fully looked from my work. "You're spying on him?" I asked sternly. He leapt from his chair and began sprinting down the stairs. I used a force field to stop him. "Answer me!" I screamed. He drew his wand at me and threatened me with a weak stun that landed just short of me. I let up the force field. "You'll tell me one day!" I yelled after him. He slammed his office door. A picture fell from the wall beside it, but I used my abilities to fly it back into position before it broke. Through his reaction, Snape had informed me of his deepest secret, and I intended to use it.

***

Snape continued to allow me to sleep inside of his office, and I continued working in his loft, but we never spoke unless speaking together to report to Dumbledore. Snape and I would gather more files and I would file the others away in special storage containers, yet still we remained silent. Months passed, and soon I was facing incomplete files, which caused for incomplete transcripts. The next ten years went quickly, until I found the files of Severus Snape, James Potter, Sirius Black, and many others from his seven years of attendance at Hogwarts Academy for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Snape's file, along with James Potter's file, included numerous reports and the filing number for boxes worth of information on their antics…and their shortfalls. Everything reported was well documented, but many other students fell short, giving me time to research the childhood and past of Professor Severus Snape.

Upon entering the small storage room, I felt as if I was unlocking Snape's private journal (if he had one), but I knew inside that the information was possibly "helping my job," though this part of the "investigation" was more personal than anything else. I carefully took the box of reports from the dusty, molded shelves (they were made from a wood that had since grown moldy-looking and soggy). I then began seeing why Severus Snape was such a recluse.

The number of incidents involving Snape and pranks was unimaginable, and he was nearly expelled for them numerous times, yet Dumbledore, the headmaster at the time, continued to let him stay. He was a mentor, I realized, and reading his personal reports soon saddened me.

_**Severus is an amazing mind trapped among a tortured soul. He is seen as an outsider, and many fear him, yet I see his great potential and wish I could do more to unleash it.**_

Those lines began the report concerning his "turn to the dark side" and his beginnings as a follower of my friend's murderer.

_**…Though the staff and I have seen the small boyhood pranks of these men, we know that violence is soon to join their antics and jokes. Severus is among this group, and I fear that his longing for companionship is leading him down the wrong path. Losing his final friends during his fifth year opened the gate to these new beginnings, but I feel, and know, that this is the beginning of the end….**_

I understood Dumbledore's pain as I heard a door slam outside. I shut the file and placed it inside the box. I then carried the box outside the room and took it to my personal office. I hid it as best as I could and returned to my job.

***

That night I began reading again. Dumbledore lost many years, but added reports as recently as five years ago. I read like there was no tomorrow, and soon even Snape was in his private quarters, not even bothering to see where I was or if I was all right. The words on the page kept me locked into the picture better than any book I ever read, and I soon found myself into more recent reports.

_**…Severus Snape is now an intern of the Potions Master, though Defense Against the Dark Arts is his subject of choice. The other teachers and house-heads fear him, and they all have reasons to. Severus confided in me many secrets as a boy, but I always knew he would turn towards the end. Now that he has, I see exactly how intelligent and brilliant he is and has become. He decided to continue with his teachings to "spy on Dumbledore for Lord Voldemort," but he has also become a spy for me. With the Dark Lord rising among the Dark Arts community, I fear that His influence will soon begin around us, including within the halls of Hogwarts. Severus has informed me that he will prevent violence from ever reaching within the walls of the castle itself, but I fear that even he cannot stop the Dark Lord when the time comes. Lord Voldemort has chosen Severus as his right-hand man, and I feel that companionship will overpower loyalty, particularly if I am no longer around to provide that loyalty. Someone should enter his life to prevent the murder that will reach these walls if Lord Voldemort is ever allowed to progress as far up the power ladder as to personally attack this school and the students and teachers within it. I pray that he will not allow it.**_

I closed the file carefully and listened. Silence was everywhere, and I felt scared. Reading these words told me that I possibly had a mission. My job would always be needed, even if it was part time at the moment. I hoped that another part of my mission would be to keep Severus Snape from allowing Him into the castle. My main hope would be that he would keep Him away from me, and the students that he took an honor and oath to educate. I hoped that the battle tactics of the wrong side of the war would not lure him into their trap.

******


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

"You wish to begin teaching?"

"I want to stay here as long as possible, Sir."

"I cannot allow it. You are not properly trained. Why do you want to take this route now?"

"You can protect me from Him."

"That isn't good enough."

***

I looked outside while Snape was teaching. Winter had hit suddenly in the middle of November, sending leaves from their trees as heavy snow blanketed everything it could cover, and even some thing it shouldn't have. I looked down below to bring myself back to the present. I watched three potions pop simultaneously below, and Snape walked over in anger.

"You fail. Shortcuts will not be allowed here. Ten points from Ravenclaw for rolling your eyes at me, Miss Hemming," Snape hissed, walking away quickly. He was particularly coldhearted today.

An article in _The Daily Prophet_ covered an investigation into His ranks, and Snape's colleagues were involved. The next issue would have a completed version of the story, and we knew that Snape would be included (Dumbledore and I), meaning the students would soon become harsh towards him and rumors would fly (as if they had not started already…). Dumbledore placed me in charge of keeping tabs on Snape, and making sure that the rumors do not get to him.

"Hasn't he always had that trouble?" I asked quietly. Dumbledore looked up angrily at first, but soon nodded.

"You are one of the few with a clear mind's eye, Madam Lillian. Use it to your advantage," he smiled.

"You're just trying to ease the rejection. I want to become an intern at least," I begged again.

"Lillian, I cannot break protocol to grant you happiness. There are many others ahead of you both in training and in time. You will have to wait," he repeated.

"What happens when this is done and I am forced back into the streets? Will He kill me? I always feel like He is watching me. He could be, but…you're still ignoring me. Professor Dumbledore, I need to know if my well-being will continue once I am forced to leave," I demanded.

"You are a paranoid woman, Madam Lillian. Just be happy with your current situation, and please, do not ask me again," Dumbledore said sternly. I sighed and left, beginning my day's work. I felt disconnected, though, and got very little done. I eventually began listening to Snape's lectures again, and I watched him grow harsher with each passing hour. I sighed heavily when the bell for lunch rang, and I quietly followed behind him like always in our trek to the Great Hall.

Once inside, conversations about the day filled my ears. I remained silent. My mind was filled with everything from my job to the dangers I faced…to Him. I felt eyes upon me every second, and it soon pushed me away from the table early and to the library. I had held off long enough on beginning those. The main librarian guided me through the form before handing me the key. I then spent the next hour lugging a large cart of books down two flights of changing stairs and the one that lead into the dungeon. Snape heard as the box slid down and ran out of his office. He then walked inside his room again, leaving the door open but offering no other held.

I gave him a sarcastic 'thanks' in my head and used my levitation abilities to guide the box up the stairs leading into the loft. I used the rest of the table to begin spreading out books by thickness, then I alphabetized them. After checking for a reading guide in the back (since many were textbooks that were long past their expiration date), I ended up having to read all of them to complete all of the form. I began quietly, reading for the leisure of it, but I soon realized how large the job would be. This box was one of many, and each had at least one hundred-fifty books inside. I sighed as I did the math, then smiled. If I read slowly and meticulously, it would take me years to complete the reading. I picked up the book again then took a break to make tea and gather a scroll. I put a lengthening spell on it and began making notes (very detailed ones) as I read. I would refine them into a detailed report on the book later on, but currently it was to lengthen my time on the books. I smiled as I finished a chapter before dinner. Dumbledore quickly noticed my change in mood.

"Why are you so happy?" he asked.

"My job from the library is larger than I expected. It should take years to complete it, or more. Now, don't tell me any shortcuts," I smiled. He smirked.

"No worries," he nodded, then returned to his other conversations. I looked to the soup I had with happiness, and I grabbed a roll and began listening to an intense conversation nearby. After paying attention for five lines, I knew that it was about Him and a rumor one had heard in a letter from a friend. Apparently He had tried to murder a child, but it did not work. He was having to step up His curses, they said before beginning a raging argument that lasted the rest of dinner. I knew that what they were arguing about could become truth, but I tried to push it from my mind. I was in a comfortable job, which also gave me life insurance. Though I still felt His eyes upon me, I felt as if nothing could break my mood.

***

I was wrong. Around eight, Snape walked into his classroom where three students were serving detention. They had accidentally ruined a cauldron, and Snape exploded, running them from the room in a roar of clean curses (if that is even possible). He then ran into his office and slammed the door shut (I caught the picture again). Just seconds later he returned with some sort of badly written order. I slammed the door, preventing him from leaving.

"Let me through!" he screamed.

"What are you doing?"

"Receiving justice!" he spat.

"Calm down. You shouldn't do anything in anger. What happened?" I asked, walking down the stairs but keeping a firm force on the door.

"They ruined a brand new cauldron! Dumbledore must hear of this!"

"In the morning," I finished for him. He gave me a strange look and drew his wand.

"Let me through," he whispered with a deadly hiss in his voice. I shook my head and he tried stunning me away. I disarmed him with a nonverbal yet weak charm. He looked at me with fire in my eyes as I held his wand in my hand. He ran towards me. "GIVE IT BACK TO ME!" he yelled. I kept an electric field around me, preventing him from touching it.

"You must calm down. I'm sure it is fixable."

"Not with what they used!" he spat, running to the materials they used to "clean" the cauldron.

"An herbal base. You can work with this if you calm down for a split second. If the supply is labeled properly, then they merely rubbed…spearmint all over the inside…"

"Turning it white and making it brittle," he finished angrily. I smirked and heated the cauldron with my abilities. I then froze the cauldron, causing the spearmint to fly from the cracks and gather at the bottom. He gazed at me knowing that I had beaten his superior intellect. I felt happiness while he still felt anger.

"Must you speak with Dumbledore now? There is no evidence supporting your little problem," I smirked. He walked off angrily into his office. "What else is going on in preventing the Dark Lord from entering our beloved school?" I called through the door. After a moment, I knew he might not answer. "Still not speaking to me? I was merely curious. I was kept from your little security meeting the other day."

"There was no such thing," he spat. He was sitting at his desk, and judging by the closeness of his voice, he was staring at where I would be outside his door.

"I was hoping you would notice, but seriously, what are they doing to stop Him now?"

"Other than using me?" he asked coldly.

"I deserved that," I whispered, trying the door. The knob turned and I walked inside. Sure enough, he was looking at me. "Your secrets are under a security risk, by the way. Do you want to see the reports over your little dark transformation."

"You would not read them!" he hissed sharply.

"I needed more information on your notes, and the file told me exactly where to look. I plan on fixing it, but I wanted to warn you that the files will still be there, there just won't be a treasure map leading people there."

"Well…thank you."

"You'd do the same," I whispered, sitting down. "But, seriously, I haven't been reading _The Prophet_ lately. It scares me. I like hearing it from others, and you are the only source who does not stare at me like I should die or flirt with me like I'm only a broom with boobs. So, what's the latest on the efforts to hunt down and burn the Dark Lord at the stake?"

"There are now rumors of sightings, everywhere all over England, and there are a few leaking in from France. No one knows for sure what to believe, and the papers want better ratings. Nothing else is being done to 'stop him,' per say, but there are task forces growing all over the countryside, particularly from parents hoping that their children are fine while they attend academies much like Hogwarts. I'll assure you here and now that we are in no danger."

"What gives you the right to say so?"

"Dumbledore and I are feared by the Dark Lord and His followers. They will not trek here and make themselves known, unless they know they can escape unharmed. They are afraid of us."

"Yet they still provide slander and hard slogans about the 'unimportance of Albus Dumbledore and his circus freaks'," I quoted. He scoffed.

"Those were mere lies. The Dark Lord Himself would never put up propaganda posters. They can be traced. Pranksters are doing those."

"What makes you so sure?"

"If you know so much about my secrets, then why must you hear it from my lips?"

"Was that admittance?"

"Stop asking me questions!" he spat. I smirked and watched as he turned away quickly, but as always he turned back around to look me in the eye. Though an oaf, he was still quite respectful.

"I do have a question concerning your old title…apprentice. Who will fill the position?"

"Dumbledore will have to decide. Why do you ask?"

"Potions is a very interesting subject, and you'll leave as soon as you can get Defense Against the Dark Arts, so…if I get the training, become certified, and go through every barrier, I can be an intern within…five years?"

"Yes," he whispered.

"Can you help me get that done?"

"But you're doing transcription for the library," he whispered. I nodded.

"Job security, that job is. Dumbledore cannot throw me to the vultures before I complete this. They are relying on me in hopes that they can expand the library and clear up room for old textbooks, some of which I'm reading. I have made a list of the titles on my table, and would you know that a book called _The Magical World's Darkest Forces_ is completely gone from the table? I'm sure the Dark Lord must've taken it, yet…you have complete access to the collection. Professor Snape, have you been using my stockpiles for your leisurely reading?"

"What if I have been? What will you do?"

"Apparently, you'll need detention, or expulsion, which is what you were planning for those students. Snape, you are heartless and uncaring towards everyone here, except Dumbledore and me, though you hiss and spit at me as much as you can get away with, yet…I cannot say that. You will surely hiss and spit then."

"Say it!" he said sternly.

"Fine. Yet you are so vulnerable."

"And why do you say that?"

"I speak no lies, Severus Snape. Besides, Dumbledore and I have more in common than helping you feel 'comforted'. We are the only ones who know at least some truth about you. Can this explain why you show us respect but not anyone else?"

"Because you know who I am, you respect me. I can safely say that only Dumbledore, you, and other newer staff members respect me, but most everyone else fears me. Why do you respect me when there are other men and women here who would respect you and not hiss and spit at you?" he smirked. I shrugged.

"You offer protection," I whispered. He cocked his head to one side in listening. "You have been willing to put your life on the line to protect mine, you know some of my secrets, and…we're in the same boat."

"You're admitting vulnerability?" he asked. I nodded. "Why lessen yourself in my presence?"

"Why deny what truths can be discovered?" I asked in response. He smirked and nodded slightly as if to say 'good, but what else?' "You've already collected evidence needed to support the fact that I am a vulnerable witch with a dark past and problems of her own. Many who discover this leave some cruel suggestion, yet you let me recover on my own while holding off demons."

"What do you mean by that?" he asked. It seemed as if he knew where I was going with my comment.

"I had a dream that Professor McGonagall was angry about something and thought I had something to do with it. You held her off, informing her that I was ill and that you would intervene if she dared lay a finger on me, so she went back to her office without a word. Did this happen?"

He nodded and looked to the floor slightly.

"You're afraid to admit that I am a worthy charge of not just Albus Dumbledore but yourself. You care about me."

"I said nothing of the sort!" he spat. I grinned.

"You're trying to get away, Severus. Tell me, how long has it been since you wanted to protect someone as much as to stand in the way of a demon to protect their sanity? How long?"

"That is none of your business!" he exploded. He had nowhere to go other than into his personal quarters, but he did not know if I would continue talking or not, so he stood there, his chest heaving with anger and moving his tongue around behind his lips. His eyes were changing, and I could tell he was thinking heavily.

"You don't have an answer because you never stopped protecting her, did you? You never have and you never will," I whispered. He looked up, a fire raging behind his eyes. He darted into his room and slammed the door. I looked at his desk. A quill sat on top of a black book. _The Magical World's Darkest Forces_ was written in silver leaf on the spine. I flipped through the book and found notes everywhere. Inside the cover was **PROPERTY OF SEVERUS SNAPE** written in worse handwriting than he had then. I found a receipt in the back of the book dated for many years ago. He had purchased the book and it was rightfully his. I saw a piece of scrap parchment.

_**You may keep the book. I will not bother you again.**_

Below that, I decided to leave another note.

_**It is noble that you never stopped loving Lily, Professor Snape, but you must learn to let go.**_

I was about to scribble the note away when a knock sounded at the door. It was Dumbledore.

"Good Evening, Sir. I take that you're here about the students? Well, I have just angered Professor Snape further. Perhaps you could return later?" I asked. He nodded and I led him out, closing the outer office door.

"What have you done to anger him now?"

"I told him truths and we spoke about some things. The final truth, well…I'm not at liberty to say, I don't think, but you are my superior…," I whispered.

"You may," he nodded. I nodded and stood with him between the office, the stairwell, and the door leading into the hall.

"It concerns the reports you wrote long ago. I informed him of how vulnerable he could be, and I informed him that I would be removing the link in his file but would still have the reports available should you need them again. I had to read them to answer questions for his transcript, and…I learned about him and his past and…Lily. I feel that it's something I shouldn't speak about any more, but…I brought up his protecting us, Lily and me. He exploded when I said 'you never stopped protecting her. You never have and you never will,' which is the truth, correct? He loved Lily, did he not?"

"That is not for me to say, Madam Lillian, but…I will give you this piece of information: Voldemort's escape from custody has brought more danger into the equation, and his need to protect you could be the manifestation of other fears that he has, probably regarding the woman who is now Lily Potter," he whispered. I gasped, realizing that James Potter, his nemesis, had likely won her unfairly. "He is trying to protect you both, more from my orders than anything else. He wants to stay loyal to someone. I have been the closest so far. He felt that he betrayed Lily, and he felt that he betrayed Voldemort by following his dreams. So, he tries to please me in every way, which causes him to please you and protect you. He…is a hurting soul, more out of loneliness caused by his idiosyncrasies than his attitude. Now, I believe we should leave him to think on his day. I'll speak with him in the morning about the students. Good night, Madam Lillian."

"Good night, Professor," I replied. He nodded and left the room. I felt Snape pull away from the door and go back into his quarters. I heard the door close as I ascended the stairs. So far, none of my thoughts had been wrong.

***

He did not speak to me the next morning. I wrote a note on the chalk board and left for breakfast without checking if he was even there or not. Once in the Great Hall, I knew he was not and went to my seat as usual. No one spoke to me, and I finished my plate before Snape even walked inside.

When I left, he passed me on the stairs into the dungeon, but he would not meet my gaze. I scoffed and went into his classroom. The message was erased. I shrugged and returned to my reading.

When the first class began, he wrote furiously on the chalkboard and yelled, "BEGIN!", but said nothing else for the rest of class. I looked at the sloppy directions. I made a note that one of the ingredients was misspelled and could possibly cause bad potions. Sure enough, during the second class, the potions had eroded through their pouches and cauldrons now had holes in them.

After running students from the room, he began frantically cleaning the mess, which was eating away at his desk. I smirked as I stood, my hands over the rail of the balcony. I smiled as his desk fell onto three legs. I soon was laughing. He shot me a look of pure disgust.

"You find this humorous?"

"You blame them! It was you, Snape! Look at the board!"

"But the mess!" he hissed. I froze the liquid, levitated it into the air and exploded it, causing tiny shards to hit the walls, but the mess was disintegrated. He hissed as he looked at his desk. "May I borrow some of your books?"

"No, quite frankly. You've been an absolute shrew today, and I am not in the mood to serve that side of you. Now, do you want my to do a little something I learned in the illegal section of my parents' library?" I smirked. He nodded and looked to my hands. I made swishing motions and chanted a simple word over and over, increasing speed each time. The mess reformed, reentered the cauldrons and the flasks and they returned to normal. I then removed the potion from the cauldrons with another chant and lit it on fire, causing a small explosion above. Snape was staring at me and the orange potion burning away. It was a stare of pure amazement.

"That was amazing," he whispered.

"That is why you should remain on speaking terms with me," I grinned, turning away and returning to my reading. Class went on as usual.

***

During the afternoon, I began walking the grounds to awaken myself. The air had grown cooler, but I enjoyed it, until Dumbledore appeared with a letter in hand. It was from the Ministry of Magic, and they had informed Dumbledore that the Dark Lord was located near the school. He ushered me inside and sent me back to Professor Snape, who was grading tests. I looked out the window as the sky began growing cloudy. A sense of foreboding grew in me and I sat down in one of the chairs and put my hands flat on the table.

"What are you doing?"

"SHUSH!" I replied. He obeyed as I began to chant to myself in hushed tones. A vision grew in my mind. A large blizzard was coming, and the Dark Lord was probably the likely cause of it. During the storm, He would enter the school and cause harm to one person, then He would leave and watch from above as the school frantically searched for someone, anyone who could have done the crime.

When I emerged from the vision, I gasped loudly. Snape looked up as I sat there catching my breath. He was waiting on me to speak, I could tell.

"The Dark Lord is going to attack," I whispered. Snape nodded and ran out of the room, presumably to get Dumbledore. I sat there and went back to my stacks. Before I began reading, I wrote down titles. One was _Defending Against Evil: Incantations for the Modern Witch_. I found it quickly and began reading it as fast as I could. I wrote down any and all that could help me. This is how Dumbledore found me: frantically searching for defense incantations.

"I have been informed of this already, but you have foreseen this in a vision?" Dumbledore asked. I nodded and continued reading. "Professor, help me gather the students. Madam Lillian, be in the Great Hall within half an hour or you will not be under my protection."

I nodded and listened to them leave. I finished scanning the book and gathered my things. I put my wand where I could directly access it at any moment, though I knew my plan: use my real powers, the ones of an American Witch, the ones that could save us all if I were to sacrifice myself.

******


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Students were uneasy. Teachers were even more uneasy, yet Professor Snape, Dumbledore, and I remained calm. It was as if we knew exactly what would happen and we were okay with it. I knew what would happen, so when the blizzard hit and the lights went out, I immediately started yelling out orders.

"LIGHT YOUR WANDS! LEAVE NO SPACE WITHOUT LIGHT!" I screamed, lighting a giant fireball to illuminate the entire frontal area of the space. I levitated it and it remained there, and I did this all over until finally the wands were free from duty.

Windows began rattling an hour into our stay, and pellets of ice were driving into the window with the force of rocks. Dumbledore and I monitored the windows carefully, knowing that without them, we would be defenseless to both the elements and the Dark Lord.

Two hours into our stay, students began falling asleep from the darkness. Sleeping children lay on one side in cots while the rest remained sitting in tight circles, wands drawn, whispering furiously about the most trivial of things. This is how the Dark Lord must have seen us before His attack, because exactly three hours into the stay, a window shattered and a man appeared. Dumbledore drew his wand immediately, followed by Professor Snape.

"LILLIAN!" the man screamed, hovering towards me. I knew who it was without bothering to ask. "YOU HAVE PREPARED THE BODY OF HOGWARTS ACADEMY OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY! WHY HAVE YOU DONE SO?"

"To save lives, you demon!" I spat. He began to laugh.

"You have no wand, yet you challenge me," He laughed, chuckling uncontrollably. I felt more wands draw from around me. "You are weak!" he bellowed, belting out a deep laugh. I used a force field to trap him against the wall, hurling his wand into the area of sleeping children. He was silenced immediately.

"You dare challenge me you worthless piece of nothingness? You have no idea who you're dealing with," I scoffed, walking closer to him with every syllable, increasing the pressure with every word. "NO COME-BACKS?" I yelled, increasing the heat of my force field.

"STOP!!!" He screamed in pain. I increased the pressure and heat yet again. No one dared interfere.

"Why do you murder the innocent, you heartless bastard?"

"CHOICE! LET ME GO, WITCH!"

"NEVER! Tell me why!"

"I have no reason––"

"Yet you do so anyway?" I asked, hurling a wave of heat and pressure in his direction. "You deserve to die right here and right now for the horrors you've put everyone through!"

"But you will not kill me."

"What would stop me?"

"THEM!" he screamed. Death Eaters appeared out of nowhere. I created a second force field, and they ran into it full-force, leaving them all at the mercy of the storm. I then began an incantation. I kept chanting and kept chanting until all you could hear was my voice and his screaming. He began shrinking, and I knew it would work, until suddenly, something bit into my leg. I immediately fell as a snake slithered towards its master. The Dark Lord fell, laughing despite his brush with death. He snapped His fingers and a broom appeared, whisking him away into the blizzard. I looked at the gaping wound in my leg, and I vowed to kill Him if it was the last thing I did.

******


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

I was in the hospital wing before night officially fell. Snape and Dumbledore were at my side as potions were forced between my lips. I was semiconscious, and I was unaware of anything, including the girl beside me, who was killed during the "attack." While He and I were battling, a Death Eater brutally murdered her, leaving nothing but a carcass and a puddle of blood. I only knew this because of my abilities.

As the bells tolled twelve, Snape sat down beside me, his eyes showing just how exhausted he was. Dumbledore had left to tend to other matters, but Snape refused to leave. At this point, I could not speak, but I didn't have to. He answered my questions without me asking.

"I loved her, very, very dearly, but…she despised me, hated me with everything inside her, because of one little word. I never stopped protecting her, though. The Dark Lord despised her new husband about as much as she despised me, and I've been convincing Him to spare them for a while now. Currently, Dumbledore informed me of more news: she just discovered that she is carrying his child. It is my job to protect her until it is born, then…you never know what will happen.

"I could never let go. I read your note and scoffed at you. I understand why you say it. Dumbledore himself told me to let go as soon as I joined the Dark Lord's forces, but I could not bring myself to do it. He knew, He always did, thanks to school friends. Now, I realize how that could've been a mistake. But, when you love someone as deeply as I did, you cannot just rip their presence from your heart and throw them away. I'm sure you must've felt the same about someone, even if you never told them. She knew, but I never officially told her. Now…I'm not sure what to do," he whispered. He sighed and looked to me. "You're dying, Madam Lillian. The serpent's venom is ripping your body apart from the inside. You likely won't live the night, yet here you are, fighting it with everything you have. I…look up to you, in a way. You are more vulnerable than anyone here because you are one of His victims. The man I serve is a heartless bastard, as you describe him, but…I cannot simply stop. I will perish painfully if I do…"

A sudden lapse of consciousness sent me into a vision. It was his loyalty to Him that would kill him, but I could not awaken. I tried it many times, but I could not awaken. I searched my memory for incantations and abilities that I knew I had but couldn't remember at the current time. I sighed and thought harder. Then, it hit me. If I transformed into something that had an immunity to venom, or could fight it better, then I could survive. So, I began my transformation.

***

Madam Lillian had fallen asleep. The nurses agreed that she would likely never awaken, so I called Professor Dumbledore into the room.

"She is dying?" he asked. I nodded. He sighed heavily and sat beside her. "She will try more to fight it, I am sure. Sit with her and call me if anything changes. I nodded and watched him walk away. I then looked down to Madam Lillian.

"PROFESSOR!" I called. He returned quickly. Madam Lillian had transformed into a lion and lay peacefully on the bed. The nurses were at a loss, but Dumbledore informed them that she could fight the venom better as a lion, and without their care. So, the ward cleared until it was just us two.

As she snored sleepily, fighting the venom through rest, the Dark Lord's blizzard continued. Sleet and hail pounded on the walls of the castle, and numerous repairs had to be made to the windows, but otherwise the school was in good condition. Snow was piling around the main entrance, but Dumbledore assured everyone that this was protection and not a curse.

I decided to fall asleep around two in the morning. Madam Lillian was still sleeping soundly, and I knew that she was still inside the beast, which helped me know that when she awakened, she would not rip my limbs from my body and proceed to eat me.

Around four in the morning, I awakened to see Madam Lillian grooming her new larger form. The blizzard had become all wind, and the wing was much cooler. Madam Lillian made a low growl in her throat. I looked to her and she nodded her head to me and began to purr. She was thanking me. I nodded to her and looked to the clock beside us.

"It's four fifteen, Madam Lillian. I'm going back to sleep now," I whispered. She nodded and stopped purring. I lay back down and fell asleep. I felt safer than I had in a while.

***

Professor Snape was beside me when I returned to my human form the next morning. Dumbledore was standing with some of the nurses talking about something. My alertness surprised even me. My plan had worked and I had survived my ordeal, much to the surprise to the entire school, particularly Dumbledore and Snape.

"Good morning, Madam Lillian. I see that your plan worked perfectly," Dumbledore smiled. I tried to speak, but I could not. The nurse looked into my throat.

"Your throat is a mess, deary," she whispered with a Scottish accent. "She liable won't speak again."

"She can write," Snape smirked. I nodded and took his hand and nodded again in thanks. "You're welcome. Could you hear me?" he asked. I nodded. "At least I was wrong about some of the things I said," he smirked. I nodded with a smile as a notepad arrived with a quill.

_**Thank you for telling me about her. And you're right about the Dark Lord changing everything about me. My entire demeanor shifted where I never wanted it to go, and when I was told I had to go into hiding…I never thought I'd find someone like you or Dumbledore. Both of you are caring and…too kind to have to put up with me. And professor, it's okay to look up to me. I used to be a witch in hiding as a preschool teacher. I loved children, but after what I witnessed, my heart faded in that area. Now, office work pleases me, and potions. I still want to go through with the schooling to fill your position.**_

"I'm afraid you will not be able to, Madam Lillian," Dumbledore whispered after reading my speech. "I'm placing you under full protective custody. The Dark Lord threatened to return again if He found that you are alive. You will have to leave here."

_**I can transform myself into another person! Please, Professor, I'll do anything to stay here. I cannot just throw this part of my life behind me! Severus, remember what you told me about how you could never let go of her no matter how hard you tried? You just loved her too much to fade from her life completely. Well, that's how I feel about this place. I cannot let the job go, and…I cannot let either of you go. If you leave my life, the attacks will get worse. I had two or three episodes before I came here, and that was every time I woke up. I've had an attack last so long I could not breathe and had to go into a Muggle hospital. I've had to abandon my heritage because of Him, but with this place, and with you and Professor Snape, I feel safe. Please, I cannot just up and leave. I'll do anything!**_

"I must speak it over with the Minister of Magic. I'll take everything into consideration, and…I'll go now," Dumbledore replied. I nodded and watched him leave. Snape took his space directly beside me.

"Why else do you want to stay?" he asked. I thought for a moment.

_**I'd rather not say right now, in case I have to leave. I promise though, as soon as I'm ready, you'll be the first to know what my reasons are.**_

"Fall in love with the job?" he asked. I shook my head, but wrote nothing more.

Dumbledore returned within the hour with the news. I would have to leave and go into a magical hospital, then I would return here as a 'new person.' Everything would be arranged while I was away, and I nodded in thanks. I was then transported to the hospital and given an identity to become. I memorized everything and returned to the school a new person, though I was mute. I spoke with telekinesis, an ability I had but had forgotten about. The first person I spoke to was Professor Snape.

"You're back," he nodded to me. He was writing something but stopped and looked at me. "You look like her."

"_Lily?_" I asked. He nodded. "_They told me that they had created a person that 'went here,' and they chose her appearance. They hope that the Dark Lord will see me instead of her and try to come after me again so that I can defeat Him._"

"I'm not sure I like the plan, but…you wanted to tell me something?" he asked. I sighed to myself and sat down. "You don't have to."

"_I must. If He is going to come back again, then I must share this information with someone, even the subject._"

"That subject?" he asked. I nodded. "What?"

"_I think that I love you, Professor Snape,_" I whispered. He said nothing. "_You spoke about never telling someone about how you felt about them, how even that could cause you to just rip yourself from the inside out. Well, I have feelings for you, Professor, even if it will kill me. You…understand what I've gone through, and that created an emotional connection. I felt like we were one in the same, really. Both of us likely began as someone different than we are today. I'm well aware that I have changed drastically since my move from America. You likely have gone through the same transformation, and likely because of the same people. Lily turned you into someone who was too in love to realize that they were really in pain. Dumbledore tried to tell you the same, and…we've discussed it also. I told him a few weeks into my stay here that something drew me to you, and he asked me to reconsider that thought, so I told him that I had since forgotten it, that it did not exist anymore, yet it remained deep inside. Seeing myself on my death bed reminded me of how life is short, and moments should be cherished. I want to cherish some of my life's moments with you before it is too late._

I knew he understood from the silence he gave me after he read my message to him. He nodded and looked around the room.

"I accept your…announcement, but…you know that my love lies with another woman, even if you resemble her and have her full name. I will always respect you, honor you, and protect you, but I cannot love you," he whispered. I felt like a knife was being driven through my chest. Suddenly, I felt something more physical. Snape's eyes grew wide as I hit the floor, a dagger through my chest. I had activated my powers accidentally. His rejection were the last words I ever heard.


End file.
